Your Priorities As a Leader Start At Home

In this post I’m going to share some personal stuff on values and priorities...

Since starting our own business, I often get asked by people if it was “worth the sacrifice”. What they are often referring to is the huge workload of carrying so many responsibilities and wearing so many hats, on top of being the one that actually delivers the service. You see, one of the differences between working for others and working for yourself is that you can generally achieve more material success by working harder, particularly if you sell your time, as we consultants do. So the temptation to be a workaholic looms at all times. Now if you want to know what someone’s priorities in life are, don’t ask them – look at their actions instead.

Speaking for myself, when asked the question above, I always and very honestly answer “yes”. Why? - because I have never sacrificed the things most important to me, and nor do I plan to. Instead I follow my priorities (listed here in order):

1. My emotional and physical health – without this, I cannot give energy to others, including family, friends and clients. It means regular exercise and sports, taking time for hobbies and music and doing something about all those emotional scars that we seem to pick up through life.

2. My wife – I know well the difference between going out into the world when there is peace in the home versus when there is not. There is a good reason that when parents take their kids to therapy they are often told to go and work on their own relationship. When I married Gisele (my second wife), I made a list of what I wanted to be like as a husband. I still read it every month, 7 years later... I cannot claim to be the perfect husband, but I can claim to work very hard at it.

3. My child – My little boy falls in here, and the reason is because by doing the first two, this priority becomes much easier to achieve, but not so easy the other way around...

4. My family & friends – I don’t believe the human spirit can be happy without this. Time simply must be made for family and friends.

5. My job – Yes, I 100% need this to feel fulfilled and earn a living. But outside of the odd exception, I know that I must stop short of sacrificing the above four priorities. I was recently asked by a client if I could deliver a large project in the evenings and on weekends. This would have meant not seeing my kid on many days, and not putting him in his bed at night. I said no, and I said why, and the client understood. Doing my job to the best of my abilities takes energy, which has to come from somewhere. It comes from priorities 1 – 4.

However, being able to live your life according to your priorities requires attention to four critical areas:

a) Know what they are – think ahead to the last days of your life – how would you have ideally spent your time? Now I don’t mean “where would you like to spend your vacations” - I mean real life – what you do day in and day out.

b) Being organized – you have to be organized enough to know where your limit is. This requires that you estimate work realistically, allocate time for the unpredictable, maintain a to-do list and book time to do your important work on your calendar.

c) Learn to say “no” – when dealing with a fixed pie (such as your time), “yes” to one thing typically means “no” to something else. Saying “no” is actually about saying yes to the right things. Keep in mind that once you say yes, others are going to depend on you, and it is too late to drop the ball. Saying “no” requires tact and good negotiating skills.

d) Living below your means – if you have made life choices that have left you in deep debt, surviving month-to-month on your paycheque, then chances are that money is going to have to be king, and out the window goes your priority list. Live simple – it is easier on the planet too.

The parallels between my 'two left feet' and leadership development

My wife and I are taking 'Funky West Coast Swing' dance lessons–-this is a real stretch for me as I have two left feet! Our dance instructor regularly talks about the need to develop 'muscle memory'. This is what he says:

This is a new skill that you need to develop. You need to find time in between our weekly lessons to practice over and over again. Consistent and intensive practice builds new neurological pathways in our brains or muscle memory. Muscle memory will allow you to dance at the desired level.

There is a great deal of empirical research in the field of neuro-plasticity that supports our dance instructor’s assertion. A great read on this topic is 'The Brain That Changes Itself' by Norman Doidge. The research debunks the notion that as we get older our brains tend to be hardwired through permanently connected circuits, each designed to perform a specific unchangeable function. Evidence is emerging that the brain is indeed 'plastic' and that new pathways can be developed at any stage of one’s life.

New pathways have a better chance of developing under these circumstances:
- when the skill being trained is closely related to everyday life
- when the skill is learned in increments and repetitively
- the training is intensive and concentrated into a short time frame

Parallels exist between these guidelines and leadership development. When working with leaders we see that the following conditions need to exist for a leader to make progress. A leader needs to:
- work on a goal that will most benefit them and their role and situation
- focus on only one goal or skill at a time
- practice the required behaviour or skill over and over again
- keep the goal and required behaviour in the forefront of their minds (research
shows that imagining is as powerful in developing new behaviours as actually
doing it)

It’s liberating to know that one can make significant progress in developing new behaviours. And yes, we’ll be practicing our dance routine again tonight.

Nic

Three important words for leaders to learn to say

Leadership is a complex topic, however three simple words can go a long way to ensuring effectiveness: “please”, “sorry” and “thank-you”. Let’s look at why this is so:

“Please” – There are two ways to get people to do things, namely the carrot and the stick. The “stick” ranges from “I need you to do the following” to “if you don’t do the following the consequences will be...”. The carrot is simply “Can you please... (with rationale)”. How would you like tasks to be delegated to you? I am certain that be vast majority of tasks can be delegated as requests and not orders. And by taking the time to provide context, others will be more self-motivated and will be far more likely to access their own resourcefulness and creativity in getting things done.

“Sorry” – Have you ever worked with someone who has “it is not my fault” stamped on their forehead? Do you enjoy working with someone like that? Mistakes, even big ones, are a normal part of life. Trust me, eat a few “humble pills” once in a while and admit your own mistakes and weaknesses. You will find that instead of trying to point them out, your colleagues switch to trying to help you get better. According to leadership guru Patrick Lencioni (author of “The 5 Dysfunctions of a Team”), admitting our own fears, weaknesses and mistakes is the foundation of building trust with others.

“Thank-you” – Do you know that the single biggest motivational factor in the workplace is to receive recognition? We consistently find when using tools such as 360 feedback, that many (if not most) managers do not score very high in this area. The reason typically has nothing to do with skills – instead they simply don’t realize how important it is, or they simply forget to do it. Has someone around you done something amazing in the last 7 days? If yes, go and let them know – you won’t be sorry and nor will they!

We all learn about these words in the first 3 years of our life. But sadly, not all of us do all three in the workplace. It is never too late to start - again.

Russ

When the answer ‘no’ is more strategic than ‘yes’

Prime Minister Tony Blair is attributed with having said: “The art of leadership is saying no, not yes. It is very easy to say yes.”

I worked with client a few weeks ago and it dawned on me how true this maxim is. During a strategic planning session, we arrived at 17 priorities that the management team felt needed to be implemented over the next quarter. In addition, we generated another 35 significant tasks and projects that the team felt they were currently working on that required their attention. That is, a total of 42 priorities! Clearly, attempting to implement such a lengthy list of objectives sets up the team and the organization they’re leading for failure.

How does a leadership team deal with this challenging and all too common situation? Back to Mr Blair’s quote: leader’s must choose the handful of objectives that can be executed – and then say no to all other competing tasks. Successful leaders understand that they cannot be all things to all people. They find an answer to this question: what should we focus on that will give us the biggest bang for our buck? This should translate into four to five key annual priorities that are closely linked to the overall organizational vision. It is useful to also converge on the number one annual priority. Then, the same thing happens for the next quarter. Keeping the annual priorities front and centre, the leadership team identify four to five quarterly priorities. Once more, it is useful to also converge on the most important quarterly priority. The next step, is the design a series annual, quarterly, monthly and weekly meetings (and sometimes even daily huddles) that align the right people and resources around the priorities. Properly structured and facilitated, these meetings ensure a laser-like focus on the key deliverables.

By using ‘no’ as a strategic tool, effective leaders keep their organizations aligned behind the tasks that really matter.

Nic

The economic recession – what does this tell us about ourselves?

Our economy these days seems to be in free fall – we hear one bad new story after another, and at the end of all those stories are ordinary people, fearful of the future and in many cases, devoid of hope. I like to remind people that this is not a natural disaster – there was no earthquake, flood or drought. No, rather this was a failure in our collective thinking. I live in the beautiful city of Vancouver, and for the past 5 years or so I have heard many people (mostly homeowners) declare that Vancouver property “just goes up and up”. Talk of a bubble was immediately dismissed – how can there be a bubble after all? – this is one of the world’s most desirable places to live!

In mid-2005 The Economist’s main story was entitled “After the fall”, and the cover showed a falling brick inscribed with the message “house prices”. In this article they pretty much predicted that house prices would eventually crack worldwide and that it would lead to the current state of world affairs, which is still unfolding. The only problem is far more people chose to believe what was mainstream and convenient at the time, versus trying to get their head around a technical article like that. Most people don’t realise that in inflation adjusted dollars, North American house prices were essentially unchanged from 1890 to 2001, as evidenced by the Case-Schiller home price index.

This is how thinking failures occur. People have a natural tendency to focus on the short term versus the long term, and fail to anticipate what is around the corner and over the horizon. It is far easier to believe what is mainstream and in many cases convenient.

Being able to anticipate events and to understand connections between seemingly disparate data is actually a leadership skill. Some call it strategic thinking, while others call it critical or systems thinking. Leaders who have this competency are more likely to do the right things over the long term. In fact studies have shown that this ability is more highly correlated with successful leaders than any other competency. It can be learned, but only by those who have self-awareness (like any other leadership skill). To understand to what extent you are able to think strategically, ask yourself:

a) Did you believe that Vancouver’s rise in housing prices would continue, or “stabilize” at some value at over 2.5 times the 2003 prices?
b) Did you anticipate the impact of the bursting asset bubble on your own business?
c) Do you believe that human needs can be fulfilled in the long term through trading off and our environmental heritage?

I’ve asked these three questions for some good reasons. The first question concerns our ability to think strategically and critically, versus “following the herd”. The second question concerns our ability to adjust our plans to cope with anticipated events – the more change can be anticipated, the less painful the adjustment. The third is the ultimate test – we are often told that environmental considerations must be subservient to immediate human needs such as jobs, putting food on the table and paying the mortgage. Systems thinking theory tells us that human well-being will become progressively worse if the environment continues to deteriorate, so that environmental concerns actually do need to come first. What is bad for the fish is ultimately bad for the fishermen too.

Russ

Confidence is an Important Leadership Skill – No Matter the Level

I recall watching a “live via satellite” presentation by then GE Chairman, Jack Welch, and being struck by a point he made. He said that a significant part of his job was to make his direct reports feel more confident. Why did his resonate? It was because the people that reported to Jack were “captains of industry” and accomplished CEOs and yet he felt that their confidence could be enhanced. He went onto say that he had noticed that more confidence leads to better decisions and higher performance, in general.

I worked with an executive team – providing 360 degree feedback and doing leadership development action planning just a few months ago, and the same thing occurred. Some of the team members disclosed that self-confidence was an area requiring attention. Again, I had incorrectly assumed that this would not be the case given their seniority and my perception of their abilities.

Leaders must find meaningful and appropriate ways to make their people feel confident in their roles. Coaches of professional athletes have known this forever. Whilst many confidence-building strategies exist, an often neglected one is to tell others why they are great in their roles, to show real appreciation for their strengths and the results they achieve.

The Gallup Employee Engagement research suggests that it needs to occur every seven working days! Providing recognition frequently – irrespective of how senior the person is – makes an impact.

Nic

Sustainability – a question of personal leadership

Sustainability - a household word these days, but what exactly does it mean? These days many organizations have sustainability initiatives, a very good sign in this world of human-induced climate change and a rate of extinction unsurpassed since the demise of the dinosaurs 100’s of millions of years ago. The devil is in the details however – every individual has a different definition of the word “sustainable” - often called “green”. Have you ever received an advertising brochure in the mail claiming that the use of 30% recycled paper saved 245 trees? What about the 500 that were lost to make the same brochure?

Try the following exercise – take a look into the eyes of your kids or grandchildren if you are lucky enough to have them. Then ask yourself what you would like the world to look like 40 or so years from now. Would there be wars over land, oil or water? Would the society be made up of rich and poor, or mostly “middle-class”? How many human beings would exist? Would species still be going extinct at 10’s of thousands of times the natural rate? How much of the land would be in pristine condition? Would the recently lost 90% of large fish in the sea have returned? When you have this picture in your mind, work backwards – what steps does this mean we need to be taking, and what role do you need to play?

Today I went to a food court in a public place I often enjoy with my 3-year old child, one that prides itself on environmental education for youth. As usual, when I ordered my food I passed them a dish that I brought from home and asked that they serve my food on this versus disposable plates. The cashier said “that’s nice to see that you are trying to save the environment” and promptly gave me a discount on my food. 5 minutes later they called my number there was my food - on a disposable plate! It seems the people in the kitchen were not used to people with “strange” requests like mine. You see - sometimes I lose and sometimes I win, but it does not help to cry about it – much better to learn to play the game. I’ll never give up – because I know what kind of world I want. Do you?

Russ