We'll continue exploring the model presented in Part 2 of this series:
Step 3: Describe the Gap
Once the story is mastered, it is time to engage in the
conversation. Feeling safe (time and place) for both parties is a necessary
foundation. Ask the recipient what might be an ideal time and place to have a
conversation.
Once safety is assured, start the conversation by describing
the gap through sharing what specifically you observed versus what was
expected.
If you sense feelings that a safety
risk occurred in your directness through verbal or non-verbal cues, go back and
create a foundation of safety before moving on. It is important that the
recipient knows that you have the utmost respect for them and are genuinely
interested in their success.
One way to build respect is prior to having the
conversation, imagine how the recipient may feel about what happened and
consider possible reactions. They likely will assume the worst case scenario
when you meet with them.
Start the conversation by laying the worst case on the
table and stating that is not what you mean; then explain what your intent.
This is especially important when addressing broken promises.
Get clear on consequences
Understanding the consequences of actions is important for
both parties to appreciate and agree on. Consider the consequences in respect
to:
- the level of micro-management (Relationships)
- workplace relationships (Tasks)
- client revenue (Stakeholders)
Each possible consequence needs to be evaluated in order to
prioritize the impact of accountability. Help the recipient understand and
acknowledge the consequences of their actions by:
Linking to values:
How will their values be enabled when going in a new direction
Understanding the long
term impact: Demonstrate how the perceived short term benefits could have
long-term challenges
Sharing stakeholder
impact: Show potential victims of current actions
Explaining rewards:
Share the connection to existing reward systems.
Explore consequences until something resonates with them as
important. This ground work is required to open up discussion on root causes and
accepting the need for behavioural change.
Root cause analysis of motivation and ability
Get clear on whether the gaps are a result of a motivation or ability problem? A quick way to identify motivation versus ability is to imagine forcing them to do what is being asked – could they?
If yes, it is not an ‘ability’ issue. Be mindful that some employees may be masking their ability due to fear of negative consequences; they would rather be disciplined than shamed.
