How to Deal with EGOS

There are many behaviours that can get in the way of effective communication. Some of them are easy to manage while others are more difficult.

The “Big Ego” is one I hear about frequently. We all have an ego, but there are times when we perceive that the size of another’s can get in the way of effective communication and resolving conflict.  

People struggle with ways to overcome this, especially when managing up. Why? The fear factor, of course. 

There are many specific behaviours that get in the way of productive communication. I am often approached by participants after a workshop who ask how to best deal with specific behavioural situations perceived as risky.

I undertook an initiative based on several inquiries and polled my fellow Kwelans for their input on ways to deal with them:

Do We Reach Enlightenment By Trusting Our Employees?

One of my bosses, one of Kwela’s two owners, Russ, came to my choir concert the other Saturday night.  Afterwards I introduced him to a good friend of mine who loves that he is a huge supporter of Sea Shepherd.

As they were chatting, she remarked to him how cool she thinks it is that her and I can be in my kitchen making brownies and when my phone rings, I flip into ‘Kwela Corp’ mode and conduct business for 10 min’s while the batter awaits.

Russ laughed and then parlayed that the most non-business setting he took a client call in was on the water in a kayak.

It really struck me how the telecommute model that Kwela employs requires a huge amount of trust – on all our parts, certainly, but especially on the parts of the owners.  If one can make progress toward better conditions through employing more enlightened or liberal ideas, have Russ and Nic reached enlightenment because they trust us all so implicitly?

Reflection Before Response Reaps Rewards

How many times a day do you find yourself offended?  Or triggered in response to what someone else has said or done?

If you are anything like me, it happens to you more than you would hope for. I have started to track and reflect on how often major issues have bubbled over from what was simply an emotional response to what could easily be determined as a misunderstanding—not a malicious intent to harm.

So the question then becomes, how do we spare ourselves this all-or-nothing reaction and how do we become so skilled to instead orient ourselves to stop, consider and then respond?

Integrity: The Invaluable Value

Many organizational values include ‘integrity’; however, if you asked employees what integrity really means, a wide array of answers may abound due to confusion around its true meaning.

This presents a problem as it is the foundation of sustainable business success.

What does integrity really mean? It was a buzz word that was amplified during the recent financial crash due to wide-reaching corporate scandals.  It became known as an “accounting issue”; however, it is way more than just an accounting matter. 

Here I will attempt to define integrity and provide ways to create this foundation.

Why do some leadership development efforts fail?

McKinsey & Company have a perspective. Their studies show that organizations can avoid the most common mistakes in leadership development and increase the odds of success by:

Tips on How to Make Virtual Teams Work

Geographically dispersed teams, also known as virtual teams, are fast becoming the norm these days and it is not uncommon for people in 2 or more cities to be collaborating on the same project. 

This poses special challenges for human beings, who sometimes struggle to collaborate even when they are sitting in the same physical office.  

Here are a few tips that you can use to make virtual teams work:

What do you take for granted?

Years ago, I recall the precise moment when I realized, very tangibly, the impermanence of life.  

I sat on the couch, contemplating, dreaming, longing for my mother.  She had died just weeks before of cancer.  In that very typical, and yet not normal, passing moment, it hit me -- I too will die.  In that moment I was aware of my physical being; feeling my heart pound beneath my skin.  My heart would someday stop. 

It is so unconscious.  I take it for granted.  My body does all of these amazing things without me even being involved.  My mind can’t control what the body already knows what to do and the immanent wisdom it already has.  Funny that is probably why nature took that option away – it knew the monkey brain would go for controlling all of it, if it could.  Imagine if you had to control when and how often you breathed or digested?  We would find ways to mess with it for sure.